The BSC Goes To The Movies
by Oreo
Summary: Yeah., only read this if you have a sense of humor. If the BSC saved you form death, don't read this. If you support the BSC, don't read this. If you hate stupid plotless fics, don't read this!


  
  
Disclaimer: I don't *want* the BSC. Plese, Ann M. Martin, take your creatures! X-Files references belong to the Almighty Surfer Dude, Chris-"I-made-this"-Carter.  
  
A/N: Okay. It's now time for the BSC Supreme fanfiction! If anyone reviews saying the same thing they say in every story ("The BSC was the only thing that saved me from suicide...") the I will flame them and scream. Loudly. And it's just too bad you didn't commit suicide. Okay, that was mean. But I still meant it.  
  
Summary: The BSC goes to the movies!  
  
Rating: No one listens to these. Why bother?  
  
A/N II: I LIVE for flames. I laugh my head off at the sorry little souls that you are if you bother to say "oh the bsc is cool'. Oh,and anything in *s are italics,and anything in :: are thoughts. Anything that are in /s are *my* thoughts. If you want, though, I can respond to your litle flames. And, if I get some little factoid wrong, like, I on't know, hair color or *whatever*, go on. Flame your sorry little heads off. Just think, I *gasp* have better things to do than read bull shit! Oh, the shame! I read these when i was in first grade, and they made me *want* to kill myself.  
  
THANKS TO: my brother, for helping me, and the flamers who are going to say how the BabyShitters Club save their life *sob* HOW SAD! *G*  
  
  
  
  
One day Stacey walked into the BSC meeting.  
  
"Yo yo yo wasssup homies?" Stacey tried to be cool, but it made her look like an i-want-to-be-from-the-ghetto lesbian.  
  
Claudia was there already. She lived there on days when her therapist allowed her out of the padded room and five-point restraints.   
  
"Hey! I love art, and painting people doing naughty things from my dad's tapes that aren't his!" /X-Files thing!/  
  
"Oh! I love those movies! Can we watch *Bambi and the Large Snake* again on Dawn's VCR?" /How come only one of them has a friggin VCR?/  
  
The rest of the BullShitCrap-I mean, the BSC- walked in. Here's a description of all our beloved main characters and their sexual preferences:  
  
Kristy: A STRAIGHT TRANS-SEXUAL. Pretends to be female but we all know she's a guy. Likes sports and always wears the same thing to hide her birth defects.  
  
Mary-Ann: LESBIAN. Dawn's "friend". Sleeps with her cat and falls out of bed.  
  
Claudia: LESBIAN. Insane and wears gay clothes. Her favorite color is purple.  
  
Stacey: LESBIAN. Pretends to be cool. Thinks she is cool. The BitchSlut Club thinks she is. We know she's not.  
  
Dawn: LESBIAN. Marry Anne's "friend". Is from California and is a spoiled brat. Thinks that it's cool not to eat meat. Cut the crap, dammit!  
  
Mallory: BISEXUAL. Her parents sleep together too often. /8 kids?/ Has picked up the habit and sleeps with any guy she can get.  
  
Jessi: BISEXUAL. Works as a hooker while she says she's going to ballet.  
  
ABBY: AMBIGUOUS ALIEN BEING.No physical distinction between male/female. No one's quite sure. Gave her dad poison and was disappointed when later that day he died in a car crash.   
  
Now, since we've met our characters, we can have some fun!  
******  
Finally, all of the members had arrived at the meeting. Claudia wrote in the BSC notebook:  
  
Twoday i sat fore the Barets. Budy was not god. He was mean to his siblengs. It was not nice. Suzzie hit Marny on the hed with a basbll bat. They both cryieed. So i was smort and gave the bananananana pople. They stoped. Then Budie went and played basbal. He had fuun. I licked bbysiting toodae.  
  
"Getting jiggy with it, homie!" said Stacey, even though she had no idea what it meant.   
  
"Distant outfit," said Mallory to Jessi, who had just come from a "ballet lesson" and was wearing, well, nothing. Well, almost, anyway.  
  
Stacey looked in the treasury. She saw two pennies. "We're freaking rolling in dough, man! Let's, like, go da movies!"  
  
Mary Anne looked at her and started crying. "Oh, that was so sad!"  
  
Kristy responded, "Once I found a nickel under the couch. My little retarded adopted sister ate it after she licked the dog."  
  
Claudia said, "Let's buy a log! Then I could sculpt it and make dibble sculptures!"  
  
Jessi said, "I'll give it to you guys for two cents."  
  
"Yeah!" said Mallory.  
  
A/N III: OKay, that's all for now. More plotless wonders at a later date. I didn't even get to the point yet, but there wasn't one in the first place, so...anyway, LET THE FLAMES BEGIN!  
  
  
  
  
  



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